The Dog Ate My Homework

I've joked about the dog eating my homework many times. Like when I forgot a needed paper for a meeting, or work. How many times have you heard or even used this excuse in school? And no one ever got away with it.

I can now attest that dogs will eat paper. In particular, money. The other day I was given six dollars in change at the grocery. Since I was in a hurry, I shoved the bills into my purse and not into my wallet. When I got home, I dropped my purse onto the floor to make it easier to carry the groceries to the kitchen. I forgot about the bills being loose in the handbag.

Later, I discovered some disgustingly slimy throwup in the basement. When I was cleaning it up, pieces of the paper money were discernible. Incredulous, I peered closer and saw many shreds of money.

Using a plastic bag as a glove, I gathered the entire mess and took it to the sink where I rinsed off bits and pieces of my six dollars!!
So the dog literally ate my money!

That's not all. After much washing, I layed the money out on a plate to dry. Again, I forgot about the money being there - probably intentionally.

A few days later I was walking the dog. Now, I do not normally watch the animal while he makes his doo doo, but for some reason, this time I did. Some long green and white thing emerged when he did his business.

A chunk of the same five dollar bill.

It's yours for the taking.